Thank you for this Joe. In a space of inattention lately and your voice and spirit so present in this piece brought me back. Reading, and all that brings in - as you so eloquently expressed here - is the antidote to despair. Love your assessment of writing too and “confronting the illusion of activity and passivity.” And yay for librarians! Thank you for your thoughtful sharing.
Kristy thank you for saying this-- I often feel the need to reduce or conceal my vantage/presence in writing, which is totally just another way of taking myself too seriously. That you make an antidote here, too, by way of attention makes me feel like I'm on the right path.
Which reminds me of what you said in "notes on learning to read: Proust": "I have realized that the antidote to distraction, impatience, weariness, this over-busy, over-anxious life I am recovering from, is not more time, but more attention. It is something I thankfully don’t think I can unlearn."
What I find so healing about that last thought is the sense in which our learnings can admit of forgetting, or periods of waning ability. I take it to mean that there are, as aging makes all too clear, very distinct limits to time (as something that ostensibly belongs to us). But attention seems to be beyond measure.
Beautiful and exactly the medicine I needed. We must ride it through.
The definition of "wanhope" suggests that despair may come from either a lack or excess of faith. I've never considered the latter.
Maybe despair can be found along both curbs of the road?
Wanhope: (a) The theological error or sin of insufficient faith in God’s mercy, despair that denies the promise of salvation and divine forgiveness; despair of salvation, grace, etc.; ~ of goddes merci; (b) lack of belief or trust in God’s power or desire to act on one’s behalf in time of trials, adversities, etc., a state of insufficient faith in God; unsteadfastness of belief; also, a denial of a tenet of faith [quot. ?a1450]; (c) an ungrounded presumption of salvation, overconfidence in God’s forgiveness, false hope; also, theological error, heresy.
Will, this reminds me of a book whose title I can't remember, centered on a remote monastery off the coast of Ireland. One of the stories (fiction) focused on a particular monk who started to take his asceticism to extremes. He finally convinced himself that his lightness was so great he could simply step off a cliff by the sea, and God would draw his body straight up to heaven. He was, of course, dashed against the rocks below.
In his self-denial was, paradoxically, self-exaltation. Having to do with control, I suppose? In any case, Thomas Merton evidently struggled with similar ambitions, tempered over time by the guidance of his abbot at Gethsemane, who for example would actually force him to eat while others fasted, to temper this innate drive Merton had to "achieve." I believe that it was only after helping Merton adjust his drive that he was allowed writing implements. The danger, before that point, was that in his obsessive search for God, he would find only himself.
Anyhow, wanhope is an incredible notion. I think in a way it suggests that we simply cannot be purely self-reliant, can't "make" everything happen. The contemplatives would say that if we're too busy talking, we won't hear when the spirit is ready to speak through us. It's just so ridiculously challenging in the hellscape of productivity hacks, analytics, and Baudrillardian simulacra!
Thank you for this Joe. In a space of inattention lately and your voice and spirit so present in this piece brought me back. Reading, and all that brings in - as you so eloquently expressed here - is the antidote to despair. Love your assessment of writing too and “confronting the illusion of activity and passivity.” And yay for librarians! Thank you for your thoughtful sharing.
Kristy thank you for saying this-- I often feel the need to reduce or conceal my vantage/presence in writing, which is totally just another way of taking myself too seriously. That you make an antidote here, too, by way of attention makes me feel like I'm on the right path.
Which reminds me of what you said in "notes on learning to read: Proust": "I have realized that the antidote to distraction, impatience, weariness, this over-busy, over-anxious life I am recovering from, is not more time, but more attention. It is something I thankfully don’t think I can unlearn."
What I find so healing about that last thought is the sense in which our learnings can admit of forgetting, or periods of waning ability. I take it to mean that there are, as aging makes all too clear, very distinct limits to time (as something that ostensibly belongs to us). But attention seems to be beyond measure.
Beautiful and exactly the medicine I needed. We must ride it through.
The definition of "wanhope" suggests that despair may come from either a lack or excess of faith. I've never considered the latter.
Maybe despair can be found along both curbs of the road?
Wanhope: (a) The theological error or sin of insufficient faith in God’s mercy, despair that denies the promise of salvation and divine forgiveness; despair of salvation, grace, etc.; ~ of goddes merci; (b) lack of belief or trust in God’s power or desire to act on one’s behalf in time of trials, adversities, etc., a state of insufficient faith in God; unsteadfastness of belief; also, a denial of a tenet of faith [quot. ?a1450]; (c) an ungrounded presumption of salvation, overconfidence in God’s forgiveness, false hope; also, theological error, heresy.
https://quod.lib.umich.edu/m/middle-english-dictionary/dictionary/MED51656
Will, this reminds me of a book whose title I can't remember, centered on a remote monastery off the coast of Ireland. One of the stories (fiction) focused on a particular monk who started to take his asceticism to extremes. He finally convinced himself that his lightness was so great he could simply step off a cliff by the sea, and God would draw his body straight up to heaven. He was, of course, dashed against the rocks below.
In his self-denial was, paradoxically, self-exaltation. Having to do with control, I suppose? In any case, Thomas Merton evidently struggled with similar ambitions, tempered over time by the guidance of his abbot at Gethsemane, who for example would actually force him to eat while others fasted, to temper this innate drive Merton had to "achieve." I believe that it was only after helping Merton adjust his drive that he was allowed writing implements. The danger, before that point, was that in his obsessive search for God, he would find only himself.
Anyhow, wanhope is an incredible notion. I think in a way it suggests that we simply cannot be purely self-reliant, can't "make" everything happen. The contemplatives would say that if we're too busy talking, we won't hear when the spirit is ready to speak through us. It's just so ridiculously challenging in the hellscape of productivity hacks, analytics, and Baudrillardian simulacra!